It's OK...I'm OK...OK?

Wow....2 blog days in a row.  Unbelievable!  Hee Hee

 I go to the gym Endurance24 over my lunch hour or after work.  It's the best place to work out.  If you get a chance check it out....www.endurance24.com .  Jason and his wife Amy own the place.  They have an awesome facility, awesome instructors, and just plain awesome attitudes!  Today, I saw Jason before my workout.  I was having a really bad morning and we started talking about me being crazy (literally).  He's gonna run Fargo too.  I told him I felt like a fraud.  He suggested I do a run to see where I'm at.  He asked me how far I could go without stopping.  I said maybe 2 miles?  He told me to set the treadmill at 6.0 mph and just run.  So, I did.  It was a really good lesson for me actually.  I ran 4.8 miles without stopping.  It was not my fastest but it was the most comfortable run I've experienced in a long time.

Why is this so great you ask?  Well, when I get on the treadmill I usually set it fast....fast like I used to run, but can't handle right now.  It's very defeatist if you think about it.  It's that whole vision I have in my head but can't follow through in actual reality.  I needed this run I had today, just to know I could do it (and to work off some aggression and find a change in attitude).  That I was still a runner, that I still had time to train, that I could improve, and most importantly, that running feels good.  My run felt good. It felt good.  I need to reevaluate the term long slow run.  You know, the runs where you just get the mileage on your legs so you can handle the fatigue, no pacing, no clock, just running.  I'm so damn competitive, I always have to be better, do better than before.  Jason gave me a thumbs up, laughed at my 2 mile "guess" and I smiled.  I felt very accomplished. I have a base, a starting point.  I can go forward, I can improve.  I smiled again.....more than once.  Yup, It's ok.....I'm ok.

Cheers!

2010 - A Space Odyssey

Not really, it just sounded good.  So, 2010 is here and we are almost a month into it.  What have I been doing?  Where have I been?  Well, I don't really have a good answer, so there!  Do you ever feel like you have THE most boring life?  I get up everyday, go to work most days, and come home.  Same shit different day.  Alas, my son keeps me on my toes and brings some variety.  I was in San Diego over Christmas.  That was fun.  Yeah, it was fun.  I was fat and out of shape.  I couldn't do what I (yeah, me)....what I wanted to do (insert stomping feet).  But, it was fun.

So, 2010.  What does that hold for me?  I'm a faker! Yep, Newsflash...I'm a fake, a wanna be.  Do you ever think in your head that you are capable of something and can see yourself accomplishing that something?  Then BAM! Back to reality...there is no way you could do that something you were just thinking of and the road to get there seems so long and impossible!  Yes, that is how I am a fake.  I think that something will happen but know it can't in my present circumstances.  What's in store for me this year?  Well, I am going to run the Fargo 1/2 Marathon (again), I will sign up for a triathlon, and I want to do the Iron Girl Duathlon this year.  Maybe, just maybe, if I get my shit together I will register before it closes this year.  I also hang with people that are really fit and really small.  WTF?  You can spot me as the faker a mile away.

Ok, enough of that.  I am working on not being a fake.  I have been counting my calories and getting my poop in a group so to speak.  I'm down almost 9 pounds and I'm waiting for my new running shoes.  Yup, gonna try to be accomplished this 2010.  So, wish me luck (but don't cross anything when you do cuz then it won't count!)!

Cheers!