A Light

My little guy is sick.  He has strep throat.  I feel so bad for him.  It's always hard when your children get sick.  As a result, my work days and workout schedules have been a bit messed up.  I have to say, though, I have been pretty good about getting on the dreadmill here at home.  I downloaded some new music and just ran.  There is something very freeing about running and not knowing how far or how fast you are going.  Even outside, you can guestimate what distance you've gone.  I was just running, and better yet, I was running to some very good music.  Sometimes music can be background noise and sometimes it can be real intense.  Lately, it's been real intense.  I listen to the music and really hear the words....then I ponder on those words.  My latest downloads include The Avett Brothers, Mumford & Sons, Adele, Dr Dre, Katy Perry and Chris Brown to name a few.  I wish I could download new music all the time and be as thrilled as I have been about my music.  I can become real stale real fast.  While I was running I had some real moments of clarity, some that made me choke up and almost cry.  However, crying and running just do not go hand in hand.  My running has been a very thoughtful process lately.  I suppose it's good for me and I need to keep that outlet to help me work through all the thoughts in my head.

What's on your playlist that keeps you running?

Rx: Exercise

You know it's pretty bad when the resident 7 year old becomes your motivation.  On Thursday ( a normal gym day for me), I asked my little one if he still wanted to go to the gym.  Now, I was entirely hoping he would say no.  He said yes, but not right away. He wanted to eat and hang at home for a little bit.  To me that says no.  So I made him dinner and went upstairs to veg.  I ended up taking a bit of a power nap (so refreshing!).  My little conscience came upstairs and wanted to know when we were going to the gym.....so we went.  Now getting there is many times the hardest part and this time it was.  Once I am there, I have no problem.  I just go!  So, Thursday my prescription was filled and I felt good. 

Now, as you know, when you don't take all you medicine, you start feeling bad again.  Ta da!  Enter me by Monday.  I didn't work out Friday.  I chose to not work out on Saturday even though I had a window of opportunity.  WOO does not open very often for me and I generally take advantage of it.  Do you want to know why I didn't fulfill my prescription that day???  LAME!  I was all dolled up from having pics taken in the morning and didn't want to mess everything up!  L-A-M-E.  It was even 40-some degrees out. LAME-O!  Now, it's Sunday.  Freezing rain and basically Mother Nature shitting all over us again.  Had to go get my little guy from a sleep over, and try not to drive off the road.  Little man did not sleep at the sleep over (does that just make it an "over"?) and proceeded to sleep the rest of the day.  Then throw up the rest of the night.  Sigh....I hate cleaning up throw-up!  Nothing makes you lose your appetite faster.

Monday, day 4 of no prescription.  By now, it's pretty dark in my world.  Ugh.  In my pj's all day with the sick dude.  Late afternoon, the sick demons have left and energy is taking hold in lil man.....but not me.  I told lil man earlier in the day that I would come down and run when he watches Batman.  Of course, he held me to it.  It was a struggle getting myself to the treadmill but once I got there it was good.  Success number 2 for the lil man.  Thank God for that at the moment.  I can't seem to find it myself lately.  I will take it in any form it comes, I just need it to come.....so come back soon, k?

It would sure be nice if I had some memory recall when I start to feel bad so I could fall back into my prescription and feel better.  Maybe it's wrong on some level that I run for escape, maybe its not.  I will just keep taking my "prescription" so I can feel better.  Now if I can just remember that!!!

 Why do you run?  What keeps you motivated? 

New Year - Low Motivation

It's that time again.....when I think I will try to do this again.  I keep thinking if I get my thoughts out there, I will be able to sort through them more effectively.  Since I last posted (which seems like one-hundred years ago), not much has changed in the "competition" realm.  I really haven't done much in the way of entering a race.  Quite honestly, I think I'm scared to try anything.  I have this fear I won't live up to my expectations (unrealistic that they are).  At the same time, I'm missing out on the pure joy of being in the competition.  Since Labor Day of 2010, I have been following a lower carb way of eating and working out with my own personal Jillian.  It has been wonderful!  I've dropped 15 pounds and was able to maintain over the holidays.  How great is that!  Cool!

Now, it's 2011 and the brunt of winter and the SAD blues have set in.  Motivation has packed its bags and moved out with no forwarding address.  Makes me more sad.  Somehow, I have to find a way to "turn this frown upside down".  How stupid is that!?!?!  I haven't been training with my Jillian and that bugs me.  Our schedules haven't meshed which happens sometimes, but I need her now more than ever.  I tend to get off track, especially this time of year.  I'm feeling lost as to what I want to do and what I think I am capable of doing.  I found out in December that I have a labral tear in my hip.  The cortisone shot has done wonders for it but it has made me rethink my running distances.  I decided not to do 1/2 marathons anymore.  But, I find myself missing the thought of running those races.  I'm not convinced I'm giving it up yet.  We will see.  I want to try some new things too, like more biking and triathlons.  Yes, I know I said I wanted that last year too, but I can try again, so I will.

In about 2 weeks I will be heading off to a girls weekend with some old friends.  I have a lot of reservations about that too.  I'm a little apprehensive about seeing everyone again. It's been a very long time and they really don't know me anymore...well, at least the person I am today, which I think is extremely boring.  It will be an interesting weekend for sure.  I see myself more of an observer than anything.  Don't get me wrong, I am really looking forward to it, I have just been really out of the loop for the past...oh, 7 or 8 years.  Nice. Yeah, nice.

Well, I will try to keep up this journey this year.  It will be an interesting year for sure.  Many changes are sure to happen by years end and it should be a wild ride.  Hope you stick with me as I will try to update more often.

Cheers!

Heeellllllooooo Out There....

May 6.....a much anticipated milestone birthday.  I will turn 40.  Now, I don't dread turning 40, nor am I afraid of it.  However, this afternoon was the 1st time I really thought about it.  My friend and I were headed  to the gym over lunch.  I asked her if I looked all blubbery in an outfit I was wearing.  She of course, like a good friend, told me no.  Then my age came up and we kind of laughed about it.  More like it's hard to think of me as 40.  I don't feel 40.  I certainly don't think I look 40.  What is 40 supposed to look and feel like anyway?  Then we started discussing the fact that I felt like I should be doing "something" to mark my 40th.  My friend asked me what I wanted to do.....I had already got a divorce, moved out on my own, have a wonderful boyfriend, I've done duathlons, I've done half marathons, etc, etc..  What more could a girl ask for in 3 short years???  Still I feel like I should be marking my 40th.  I'm so boring.  I'm in search of my "marker". What........hmmm....could.......should......it be?

It's OK...I'm OK...OK?

Wow....2 blog days in a row.  Unbelievable!  Hee Hee

 I go to the gym Endurance24 over my lunch hour or after work.  It's the best place to work out.  If you get a chance check it out....www.endurance24.com .  Jason and his wife Amy own the place.  They have an awesome facility, awesome instructors, and just plain awesome attitudes!  Today, I saw Jason before my workout.  I was having a really bad morning and we started talking about me being crazy (literally).  He's gonna run Fargo too.  I told him I felt like a fraud.  He suggested I do a run to see where I'm at.  He asked me how far I could go without stopping.  I said maybe 2 miles?  He told me to set the treadmill at 6.0 mph and just run.  So, I did.  It was a really good lesson for me actually.  I ran 4.8 miles without stopping.  It was not my fastest but it was the most comfortable run I've experienced in a long time.

Why is this so great you ask?  Well, when I get on the treadmill I usually set it fast....fast like I used to run, but can't handle right now.  It's very defeatist if you think about it.  It's that whole vision I have in my head but can't follow through in actual reality.  I needed this run I had today, just to know I could do it (and to work off some aggression and find a change in attitude).  That I was still a runner, that I still had time to train, that I could improve, and most importantly, that running feels good.  My run felt good. It felt good.  I need to reevaluate the term long slow run.  You know, the runs where you just get the mileage on your legs so you can handle the fatigue, no pacing, no clock, just running.  I'm so damn competitive, I always have to be better, do better than before.  Jason gave me a thumbs up, laughed at my 2 mile "guess" and I smiled.  I felt very accomplished. I have a base, a starting point.  I can go forward, I can improve.  I smiled again.....more than once.  Yup, It's ok.....I'm ok.

Cheers!

2010 - A Space Odyssey

Not really, it just sounded good.  So, 2010 is here and we are almost a month into it.  What have I been doing?  Where have I been?  Well, I don't really have a good answer, so there!  Do you ever feel like you have THE most boring life?  I get up everyday, go to work most days, and come home.  Same shit different day.  Alas, my son keeps me on my toes and brings some variety.  I was in San Diego over Christmas.  That was fun.  Yeah, it was fun.  I was fat and out of shape.  I couldn't do what I (yeah, me)....what I wanted to do (insert stomping feet).  But, it was fun.

So, 2010.  What does that hold for me?  I'm a faker! Yep, Newsflash...I'm a fake, a wanna be.  Do you ever think in your head that you are capable of something and can see yourself accomplishing that something?  Then BAM! Back to reality...there is no way you could do that something you were just thinking of and the road to get there seems so long and impossible!  Yes, that is how I am a fake.  I think that something will happen but know it can't in my present circumstances.  What's in store for me this year?  Well, I am going to run the Fargo 1/2 Marathon (again), I will sign up for a triathlon, and I want to do the Iron Girl Duathlon this year.  Maybe, just maybe, if I get my shit together I will register before it closes this year.  I also hang with people that are really fit and really small.  WTF?  You can spot me as the faker a mile away.

Ok, enough of that.  I am working on not being a fake.  I have been counting my calories and getting my poop in a group so to speak.  I'm down almost 9 pounds and I'm waiting for my new running shoes.  Yup, gonna try to be accomplished this 2010.  So, wish me luck (but don't cross anything when you do cuz then it won't count!)!

Cheers!

Happy Trails

I've had this thought and it wouldn't leave my head. It was fairly beautiful last weekend and I thought to myself.....it would be cool to do a little trail running with the leaves all changing and the air so crisp and the sun still semi warm. So, I decided I would go trail running the next weekend since I didn't have my son. I searched the internet for trails that I could run and decided I would go to Canton and run in Newton Hills State Park. I've always liked it there. It's this little oasis in the middle of the prairie really. The person I wanted to trail run with is running the New York Marathon next weekend so I didn't want to ask her to go.  I decided I would go by myself. Of course it rained all week and pretty much all the leaves blew off the trees and it looks prematurely like winter, but I decided to go anyway.

Saturday morning, I woke around 8:30 (God it was great to sleep in!) and had a very nice and lazy conversation with my main man. It was around 10:30 when I decided to go for my run. The actual forecast was supposed to be sunny and 55 degrees with some wind. It never was sunny and there was little wind, so the cold didn't feel so bad. It was around 45 degrees when I started out. Newton Hills is about a 30 minute drive. I had to call one of my friends for directions. It had been awhile since I have been to the park so I sort of forgot how to get there quickly. Anyhoo, I started down I-29 totally rockin to the 80's. The music was awesome! I was belting out the tunes and generally excited for my run. I exited the interstate and was the only one on the highway. I thought that was kind of cool so I snapped a picture while driving.

I forget how pretty the prairie can actually be.  As you get closer to Newton Hills the terrain totally changes.  It's just not flat anymore.

Way off in the distance of the above picture you can see Lake Lakota, the other part of the State Park.

By this time Journey was on the radio singing "Don't Stop Believin"....that song totally rocks.  The Ranger station was closed but I was a good girl and paid my $4 fee.  I believe in the State Parks so I do my part.  There is a one way street that goes away from the campground to that's where I headed.  It takes you to picnic areas and the trails.  The leaves were off the trees and covering roadway.  Like I said, it was grey out and it was really kinda spooky......

The first trail was the Woodland trail and was only 3/4 mile long.  I did not want to do that, plus I thought it might be a little muddy.  I went a little further and found the trailhead for the area I wanted.  It was the multi-purpose trail.  Mountain bikes, horses and foot traffic could use this trail.  I thought it might be best to stay on that trail since it had rained so much during the week.  I got myself ready and headed to the trailhead.  I looked at the map to see where I was going and then noticed this sign....

Gulp....I never even thought of that.  Hmmm....well, I wasn't wearing an orange vest but I did have my purple thermal on.  I pretty much thought no one would mistake purple for an animal of some sort, plus my I was sure my wheezing and sniffling would warn someone far enough away that something other than a nimble deer was on the horizon.   Then, I stopped for a moment and just listened.  You know how you don't do that often enough, so I thought I should.  It was really quiet.  The first thing I noticed was there was no wind so it was pretty silent.  Next I heard cows mooing.  Yes mooing.  I kind of smiled to myself and headed toward the bridge to start my run.  Now I don't mind bridges but I get a little freaked with suspension bridges.  I HATE the swaying motion of suspension bridges.  It was fine as I crossed, it only began to sway as I neared the end.

I had to pee too.  I drank a whole can of Rumba on the way to the park and knew I would have to pee.  In the right side of the above photo you can see the rest room.  Yep, I used it.  I knew it wouldn't be totally gross, but I could smell it before I got there.  I held my breath and went in.  It was loaded with ladybugs!  Yuck.  They were everywhere.  So, I squatted quickly and got out of there.  EEEEWWWW.  Well, had to be done and my gut felt much better.

 

I started off on the trail and it was pretty much all up.  I had forgotten how hard trail running was (other than the hills).  It was slippery in spots, muddy in spots, and very uneven.  I even had to dodge horse droppings.  I could tell there were some people on horseback at some point that morning.  The hoof marks in the mud were pretty evident.  I was really glad at this point that I was not as heavy as a horse because everywhere the horses stepped they pretty much indented.  My nimble foot strikes kept me high and dry.....most of the time.  I was about 2 miles into my run when I started to encounter this....a lot!

I had to do even more off-roading than what I was already doing, but I never fell on my ass and I made it through those obstacles without too much mud on my shoes.  I was really enjoying myself at this point.  I didn't feel like I was running that fast but I was really working.  I wasn't worried about time or anything, I just wanted to enjoy.  I was glad I was running by myself and really just glad to be running.  It's nice to be out in nature.  It clears the head.   I worked my way around more mud and came to a crossroads in the trail.  I wasn't sure where to go so I had to consult the map.  This is what I found.

Which way to go?????  I won't hold you in suspense, I took D.  Neither Boobs nor Cock took me where I needed to go (this time).  So, off to D I went.  Now D was very muddy in lots of areas because I was now in the valley so to speak.  I did a lot of traversing around gigantic mud puddles.  But it was fun.  I loved the adventure of it all.  I turned a sharp corner and looked right at a mud area and then noticed this.....

Yup, straight up.  This is not exaggeration.  It was pretty slippery with the wet leaves but I made it up to the top only to have it traverse to the right and even higher.  I was huffing pretty good at this point.  A good glute workout for sure.  Once I reached the top it opened up to prairie again.  My heaving wheezing and sniffling scared up some deer at this point so I stopped to admire them.  They were pretty quick so I couldn't get a pic of them, just the openess.

 

I finished up my run working pretty hard and ending at just over 4 miles.  It was great and I was still all alone.

It really was the perfect temp out and I was pretty sweaty when done.  I was getting cold too.  So I headed back to the car.  Here are a few more pics of my adventure.

Going back across the suspension bridge.

 

View off the side of the suspension bridge.

 

The observation Tower.

 

View from the observation tower.

After I finished snapping pictures, I wished I had done this earlier when the leaves were on and changing.  Note to self next year I guess.  Springtime would be great too as the forest is reinventing itself.  I enjoyed my quiet time today in the woods.  I never encountered another human being and I left the ipod at home.  Trail running is hard, but I liked  the challenge and I definitely liked being one with nature.  I was just glad to be doing what I was doing.  I don't often appreciate the moment I am in, always looking to the future (or god forbid, looking back).  So it was nice to appreciate the moments I was there.

On a side note, I bought a bathing suit, some goggles, and a swim cap.  I suppose I will be back with that adventure......until then....CHEERS!